Today
She told me
She told me her friends didn't bother to notice
They didn't bother to look over their instant messaging devices
Only to discover the tears rolling down her cheeks
Tears that told 15 years of tragedy, torture, and trauma

Today
She remembered the dreaded date
Today was the date where she recollected the misery and horror
That occurred 3 years ago
I asked why
Why she cried, why she was tearing up inside
She never told a soul
And even though it was long and passed away
She still remembered
And it hung over her like a miserable ugly shadow
Because no one else knew
No one else could help her
She harbored these memories, these emotions, all by herself
She finally let it slip
Her lips have been locked for 3 years
And she let those 4 horrid words slip
I couldn't comprehend
Couldn't imagine
I doubted me hearing and asked again
She looked around, turned to me and said it again
I sat there, dumbfounded, trying to process those wretched words
I tried to comfort, tried to place comfort where it was absent by her loved ones
She thanked me

I didn't see her for the rest of the day

I had the whole day to think about what she had told me
I couldn't remove it from my mind
It wouldn't depart, as hard as I tried to make it
I thought about it
perhaps too much
I wished I never heard it, possibly I wanted to erase the day from my memory
As I lie in my bed the following night
I had no other option
But to imagine the monstrosity of the memory
Flashes of the images
Bones cracking
Screaming
Crying

I don't recall sleeping well that night

Today
I attended the school band concert
She was excited, thrilled and ready for the performance
It made me happy to see her like this
And she was elated for my arrival as well

Then

I met him
She introduced me to her latest foster family
But he had come as well
to surprise her
It ruined her whole night
It felt as though time stood still momentarilly
This was him
The one who caused her trauma

I wanted to kill him

I wished that he would drop dead of a heart-attack right on the spot
But then time began to flow once again
The she was whisked away, being summoned to join the rest of her class to set the stage
But as she left
She said "I love you daddy"
to that ugly fucker
To that thing that didn't deserve to be called a father
I knew those sweet words as a loving daughter that she portrayed
didn't ring true
And as I left the concert hall after the performance
I thought to myself
Now that I had seen what he looked like
I wanted to tear him apart
Make him suffer
Ten times more than what he put his sweet daughter fragile through
I decided that he should have died long ago

Today
It's been months since I met him
We did not speak further on the topic
the topic of that fucker
At this point
I thought I knew it all
But she had yet to tell
to tattle on the rest of her sinner's dark secrets
As I engage into  conversation
I'd occasionally catch myself looking at a scar that grazed her forehead
It had been healed long ago
but a gouge still remains
resembeling a river that ended at the dam of her brow
All this time
It never occured to me to ask
I thought it was a birthmark
I asked, she told me
It was really an old scar from when her Aunty had pushed her down the stairs
she cracked her skull
The next candidates that she exposed were her brothers
they had done the same thing as her father
but far before him
when she was younger
when she was more fragile
her father had only broken a mended girl
To this day
She cannot sleep with the door open
She remembers them watching her
then coming in the room

those fuckers

I wanted them dead too

Today
I asked her how many homes she's lived in
21
21 different homes
Each played a cruel game
A game that was of bringing her hopes up for care and a proper family
Each lied
They would leave her long enough with the family until she thought they were her very own family, one that would love her
But then they would rip her away from them and force her into a new home
that was how the game always ended
Her dreams for a home, a sense of belonging have been shattered 21 times
and they were remorseless
I don't think she trusts people anymore
I don't think she can
She's gone through so much pain
So much misery
But what makes me wonder
is why her perception of the world is not warped
She could be bitter
She could hate us all
She could give up on society
but she's not
She can still manage to find a smile all the time
It makes me wonder
How she can be the sweetest most polite girl in the world
It makes me wonder
If she can distinguish the words "trust" and "deprivity"

Today
Today is different
Today is different because I have made a desicion
Although I cannot understand why her demons haven't clouded her and taken over
Although I cannot understand how much of a stronf person she is
I have decided
I have decided, she does not deserve pity, she does not deserve sympathy
She deserves love
She deserves love that isn't made in the cruel game
not the ones that will build her up and tear her down
that kind that will not be torn away
the kind that will stay